The ongoing quest to define "gentleman" links fathers, sons, and grandsons in marvelous ways. It is not uncommon at Wabash for this bond to extend to three, four, or sometimes even five generations. Indeed, I suspect that somehow that bond paves the way for fathers, who had spent years saying they are never done raising their children, to be guided by their sons in later years.
Magazine
Winter/Spring 2001
The
Bond Between
Wabash Fathers and Sons
by Andrew
T. Ford
President, Wabash College
I started thinking about this letter on March 5, while flying to Atlanta and Tampa, and then driving to Boca Grande, Naples, Vero Beach, and Orlando, cities I and others from the College visited on behalf of The Campaign of Leadership. Every stop provided food for thought, since I knew this issue of Wabash Magazine would focus substantially on fathers. At two of the campaign events, for example, Professor Warren Rosenberg and a senior, Mike Evans, led discussion of two short stories by Ernest Hemingway that touched upon the relationship between fathers and sons. At all these events we showed a new Wabash video made especially for The Campaign for Leadership. Steve Bowen '68 and his son, David '99, appear prominently in it and in such a way that it started me thinking about other father/son relationships at Wabash.
I think I have met
at least 100 alumni fathers whose sons attended Wabash--and lots more
who wish they had. I see a special bond forged between these fathers and
sons. In forging this bond, attendance may be more important than graduation.
Atwood Smith '34 could not afford to continue through Commencement at
Wabash, but to this day he takes great pride that his son, Brian, graduated
in 1968. The reverse is also true: fathers who graduated are proud of
their sons attending, even though they did not complete the course of
study at Wabash. The bond also can skip over fathers to link grandfathers
and grandsons, as I learned poignantly from Leslie Lee, Class of '42,
at the alumni event in Orlando. Mr. Lee brought his grandson, who has
applied to the College and attended Honor Scholarship weekend. Attendance
at the College creates a common history, a shared set of experiences.
Since these experiences are typically 20, 30 or so years apart, however,
they really are "virtual" shared experiences rather than real. Being
freshmen 20 years apart is different, just as taking comprehensive exams
20 years apart is different. Yet, the essence in the experience transcends
time. Young David Bowen in the campaign video captures a bit of this when
he wonders whether his father once sat in the same seat that he occupied
in Center Hall.
Attendance at the College creates a common vocabulary. This vocabulary includes the names of professors, of buildings, rites of passage, and other traditions. Having the opportunity to compare these with one's father or son creates a dialogue that serves to bring father and son closer together, just as common work tends to unite people. Embedded in that dialogue, in those traditions and experiences, are a whole set of shared values about the responsibility of being a gentleman.
The ongoing quest to define "gentleman" links fathers, sons, and grandsons in marvelous ways. It is not uncommon at Wabash for this bond to extend to three, four, or sometimes even five generations. Indeed, I suspect that somehow that bond paves the way for fathers, who had spent years saying they are never done raising their children, to be guided by their sons in later years.
This ongoing quest eases the subtle shifting of roles while maintaining the integrity of the relationship. It is yet another way in which Wabash lasts a lifetime, and, in many cases longer, when the sons choose to honor the father by providing for Wabash students in his name. There have been so many generous instances of this at Wabash during The Campaign for Leadership, but, most recently, the gifts of Stephen '63 and Philip '67 Coons in honor of their father, Harold '32, come to mind, as does the tribute paid to Roger Billings, Sr. '30 by his sons Roger '59 and Tom '63, in creating a named room for their father in the Allen Athletics and Recreation Center.
In whatever form it takes, the bond between Wabash fathers and sons is a noble one, and one that strengthens all it touches.
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