The fate of Santa Claus hung in the balance on Tuesday as the Parliamentary Union debated the merits of good old Saint Nick. Once again, the Santa Claus Debates were on. This year, the Parliamentary Union was held in conjunction with the weekly discussion group "It Seems to Me That…" as the topic of Christmas and commercialism for this week were too similar to the material usually covered in the Santa Claus Debates.
"It’s annual, when it happens," said Union member Travis McLaughlin ’09, with respect to the number of times the event had been held over the years. This absurdist answer characterized the tone of this debate that focused on the merits of a fictitious person.
The structure of the debate follows closely to the basic organization of a Parliamentary Union debate. There are two sides with two debaters each. The side which presents the case is comprised in the style of a parliamentary government with the prime minister as the lead speaker and a "member of the government" as his support. The side that opposes the case is comprised of the "leader of opposition" and the "member of opposition" respectively. Each side takes turns speaking on the topic. The members of Parliament (in this case everyone present besides the debaters) vote for or against the measure.
Prime Minister McLaughlin opened the arguments highlighting his two problems with Santa Claus – namely that he promotes pedophilia and voyeurism. "Just think of what we are teaching our children," McLauighlin said. "Yes, go let the nice old man touch you and bounce you around on his knee. Maybe one of his friends will take a Polaroid and you’ll get all sorts of cool stuff out of the deal."
Opposition Leader Rob Bloss ’09 stated quickly that "…there is no way Santa Claus is a detriment to society." His points, however, quickly digressed into the ridiculous banter that characterized Prime Minister McLaughlin’s remarks. "If we stuck a beard on Travis…I could see him bouncing a child on his knee," Bloss mused. "Travis could fit the Santa Claus clause, and I don’t think he wants to hear that."
Member of Government Grant Gussman ’09 and Member of Opposition Gary James ’10 had equally ridiculous points, but all debaters agreed it was a moment where the usually serious issues of debate can be forgotten for a moment and they can just have fun.
"It’s really just about having fun and using your brain at the same time," James said.
The final vote was 5-0 in favor of Santa Claus.
McAlister is a staff writer for The Bachelor.