I must say that I honestly did not know what to expect from Peter Post’s presentation on the manners of men. Of course, I had heard many great things about him and what it was he had to say, but I was a bit worried by the word etiquette. Like some others, I thought the presentation would offer strict rules of conduct, ones that were to be followed precisely and that I would be guilty of already disobeying.
That, however, is the reason why Mr. Post writes books aimed towards men and why he came to our school. Men are more interested in etiquette than would be believed, especially young men, but are cautious about asking questions and attending events for fear that they will look uneducated or be put down. This was neither the case nor the atmosphere. His main goal was to help us consciously do with manners what we strive to at our school: how to think critically.
I was one of the students that had the opportunity to listen to Mr. Post speak in a dinner environment and I was very grateful for the opportunity. The setting was intimate but also provided a platform for Mr. Post to build his discussion from. Early on, he dispelled the idea of the "strict code of conduct" some students, including myself, expected. "Rules don’t matter to me," he said. "I don’t care what fork you eat with, I care that you eat with a fork. I care that you make the people around you feel comfortable." Mr. Post’s honesty and sincerity made for a very productive and comfortable setting.
Peter Post’s presentation was not only enlightening, but entertaining. He had a great sense of humor that kept the conversation enjoyable and made his examples memorable. "Do we wake up in the morning," he said, adding to the idea of making people feel comfortable, "and say I want to be rude to three people today?" He is a great communicator, one of the results of what he explained as great liberal arts education background.
If you did not see the presentation, I will now try to offer some of the notes that I took. There are two main goals of good etiquette: 1. to think before acting, and 2. to make choices that build relationships. There are three principles that structure how you do this: be considerate, be respectful, and be honest. Work skills will get you in the door, but it is the interpersonal skills that you build that will help in your professional life. In many ways, Post’s explanation of etiquette parallels that of the gentleman’s rule. In fact, Mr. Post ended his slide by encouraging us to become the "24/7 Professional," sincerely striving to make the best decisions and the best impressions on those around us.
In Wabash,
Stephen Iles
Editor, Peer CA