The pressures of being a college student can be heavy. And the academic, athletic, extracurricular, and financial challenges can be daunting, especially at a college with a high level of student engagement. But imagine what life is like for students who balance more than just school.
For two years, Anthony Benitez ’09 has not only managed his responsibilities as a student but his duties as a father and a husband. The 21-year-old senior psychology major has been married to Sarah Salas of Dallas, Texas, since September 1, 2006, the beginning of his sophomore year.
He has been a father since May 2007. Benitez’ son, Aiden, is 16-months-old. Benitez lives off-campus with his family. He doesn’t have much free time, but, when he isn’t working or studying, he is spending time with his family. Sarah works full time, goes to school full time, and is a full time mom as well. Although they struggle to find babysitters sometimes, the Benitez said they have learned to deal with it all.
“It’s different,” Benitez said of his balancing act. “I don’t have time to mess around, and I spend a lot of time with my son. I have to time manage, which means I have to study whenever I’m at school in the mornings. It’s very challenging, especially when both are going to school. We have less time for each other than we would like. But it’s great to come home and see your son. It’s very motivating and unique. Before I had my son, yes I had good grades. But after the birth of my son, I’ve made the dean’s list both semesters.”
Benitez wakes up around 5:15 A.M. most mornings to prepare for the day. He works in the Allen Center from 6 A.M. to 8 A.M. He does much of his homework there. He then goes to his classes, runs errands, writes papers, and studies for classes and the LSATs until 4:30 P.M, when he makes his way back to his Scott Street residence.
“When I come home, my wife usually goes to school, and I take care of my son,” Benitez said of his wife Sarah, who is studying education. “[Aiden and I] go out; we play soccer; we go out for ice cream. We watch movies (like) The Lion King. We read Dr. Seuss. I read to him in Spanish. Sarah reads to him in English. Then whenever my wife comes back is whenever me and her spend time together. Aiden falls asleep by then.”
The history and Spanish minor is also preparing for his October law school exams. But recently, Benitez said he has been thinking seriously about community organizing. “I think I am most likely going to do social work for one year,” he said. “I guess Obama motivated me to do that. I guess it’s vital for me to do that either before or after law school. I have to at least be a tool to work in the Hispanic community.”
Benitez said social work interests him because he knows of the prejudices present in the world, even in Irving, the Dallas suburb where he was raised. He recalled an incident told to him by his mother, when a police officer singled her out in a grocery store and asked if she was legal. Benitez said his mom stood up for herself, and the policeman backed down. But the incidences of inequality and prejudice occur everywhere and not just for minorities, he said.
“A lot of concerns that Hispanics have, African-Americans have, minorities have, and people who have with low incomes,” he said. “I just want to bring all those people together. I think I was blessed with my family. They always valued education. And I think education is something extremely valuable, and, now that I have it, I can go out there and motivate people that were in my position at once.”
Benitez said he wanted to reach out to people who were struggling, much like his family and fraternity brothers helped him and his family. Sarah’s parents offered her a secretarial position with their tree service business back in Texas. She is able to work from home, study for school, and stay home with Aiden. Before they moved into their house, Mr. and Mrs. Benitez lived in the Theta Delta Chi house for a few weeks. Benitez said his brothers not only voted unanimously to allow them stay there, but they – and their girlfriends - helped make the transition from Texas much easier for Sarah. The act of kindness is something he said they will never forget.
“Our families do live in Texas and we do not have any family out here to help us much but we have learned to stand on our own feet,” she said. “I would not change our lives for anything in the world. I truly believe with our hard work and dedication to everything that we set our minds to, will pay off.”